Xmas is Over!

Xmas is finally over! Can't say I'm that bothered to be honest. It just crept up out of nowhere and before I knew it it was finished! I'm enjoying being off work though! Anyway, heres a brief roundup:

Friday -Work xmas do: Was ok, not brilliant but not totally awful. We were the only people in the platform which was abit weird. The food was ok. Far far too much I could hardly eat my main course. We were sat on the lads table with JT, Ad, CD, SB and SC. Think I would have rather sat witht the others to be honest but anyway, JT was trying to wind me up the whole time by going on about S wanting to go to a strip club. I just ignored him but I don't see why he needs to act like a twat. We were almost late for bowling and then when we got there they had messed up again and booked us in for th wrong time. J had to speak to the manger to get it sorted. We ended up with 2 lanes with 7 on each lane so bowling took forever. I really couldn't be bothered with it although I did ok and got a strike/a few spares. I wasn't drinking as I felt bloated fron the 2 wkd's I had had with my dinner and every one else was getting very drunk. I was glad when the bowling was over and S and I could go home whilst the others went into town (to keystones yipee) S and I went home although by the time we got there we only ended up having about 40 minutes there before we had to get a taxi back into town for the evening buffet meal at the Bamboo gardens. D ended up getting the taxi back with us as he was on his works do as well. We got to the restaurant before every one else and went in to wait as we were freezing. The others turned up minus CD who had gone home because his girlfriend was giving him hassle. The meal was abit pointless as most of us couldn't eat anything as we had eaten too much at lunch time even though I would have much rather had the chinese than the meal at lunch time. S ended up having some though. Most of the lads were being idiots blowing up balloons til they burst and generally being idiots. I was embarrassed being with them. After we had finished we went to the pubs starting with the litten tree. We ended up loosing everybody along the way until it was just me, S and Dv. That was ok as I wasn't bothered about any of the others anyway. The three of us ended up in Hustle with D and St. They were very very wrecked as they had been drinking since 4. Dv ended up having to buy D's round as he ordered 4 drinks when he only had 75p left! Hustle was quite good we managed to get seats and they were playing 70's music which everybody liked. We went to have a look in the lounge and ended up leaving Dv there with someone he knew whilst we went to take D and St home. We went to have a look in Toast as L and M were there and we were supposed to be meeting us. However as we got there they were just leaving and it was rubbish so we got in a taxi to go home however St ended up staying! It was a miracle he got home ok the state he was in!

Sat - We stayed in bed most of the day but it was nice knowing we didn't have to do anything. We went to D&P's at night even though I hadn't been planing on doing anything. It was ok.
Sun- Xmas eve - Went to meet F&A in town for lunch in Varsity while S went to Glasson to take some presents etc. Had a really nice meal and chat with F&A then S picked me up and we watched xmas tv at home, then Scrooged (wicked film!) and went to bed.

Xmas Day - Was ok. Started off badly as S got up at 8:15 and I was still tired as I hadn't slept well. He then opened all his presents without me! Which I was not happy about and we ended up arguing. It took ages to cook all the food. and the oven wasn't big enough etc etc Then his family turned up before dinner which is not what we had arranged so we were in the middle of cooking and stressed. The food was ok although of course we had cooked far too much and couldn't eat it all. In the afternoon we took Bailey for a walk before we left to go to my mums. Things got better when we got to Wales as it was lovely to see my family and we opened all our presents together. I got much more than I was expecting and it was a really nice surprise. I got cds, vouchers, bead making kit, card making kit, dvd, perfume, books, my stocking ;-) ...We had a lovely evening playing games and chatting. We left the next day after lunch as we wanted to get home to see the dog and watch Freaky Friday! Also E was back at work so I didn't really see her as much as I would have liked. Although we didn't stay for very long M & E are coming up next week to see us again so I'm looking forward to that. S's mum very kindly looked after the dog while we were away although she stayed at our house which I wasn't too pleased about, she even wanted to sleep in our bed which I thought was extremely odd. However she ended up staying in the spare room thankfully. Boxing day night we enededup staying at home. D&P invited us to go round to theirs however I was feeling poorly and bloated (I only had a few glasses of wine and it made me feel terrible!) so we just went to bed.

Weds - S worked on the house and helped fix to leaks on D's radiators whilst I stayed at home with the dog and read one of my xmas books! Then at night we went to D&P's to play the new games we got for xmas. Had a really good night and enjoyed the new games especially The Big Taboo which we bought them- was a great laugh and a really varied game. We also won!

Thurs - Went into town and spent some of my vouchers. Got some going out shorts and a t shirt in new look and some beauty stuff in superdrug. Had lunch in Varsity although they messed up my order it was ok. Watched tv at night and made some iron on bead things which E got me. So far I've made 4 and S has made me one! I love stuff like that. My mum got me a card making set as well so I'm going to do one for her birthday.

Not much other news really. S has done some work on the kitchen and the carpet is finally completely down on the stairs which is great ;-) I have got a cough and a cold and so has S so we aren't sleeping well which is rubbish. The dog is being tonnes better. He's still pretty hyper and energetic however he has house trained himself! He now goes to the door whenever he needs to go outside which is brilliant. We are really proud of him especially as he's only 15 weeks old (today) He sits with us alot more and snuggles up to us on the sofa and at night. He definitely knows who we are and comes to us and licks us. When I wasn't feeling well the other night he came and sat on my knee and snuggled me til I felt better ;-) Going to take him for a walk now to burn off some of his energy and our food! Jxx

Last week in work...

There's only 4.5 days left in work which I'm really glad about. I'm not quite sure what we are going to do for 2 weeks off but I'm sure we'll find something. We can take Bailey for lots of walks or something! We need to get some stuff done on the house really as well.

News: Am feeling abit better and abit less stressed about xmas although I still can't say that I'm looking forward to it ;-( Managed to get most of the presents on Thurs night although it was abit of a mad rush to say the least. Got to go again this Thurs to get the final bits. Just vouchers left to get though so it should (fingers crossed) be easy. Weekend was ok. Fri night we went to D&P's as we hadn't been for ages. Was good as we haven't been round for abit so was nice to see them. Listened to some tunes and watched the end of 3 films (don't ask) went home about half 2. Could not sleep I was watching Costa Del Street Crime at about 4 in the morning! Sat S got up early to do this job for his mums friend then I went into town with P at 2 to help her look for an outfit for her sisters wedding in February and we had a brew in Brophys which was nice. I was glad to do something in the day instead of wasting it. I felt like I couldn't be bothered going but when I did I was really glad that I did. Went to B&G's house at tea time for a mini party/buffet thing for Le's birthday, gave her her card and £10 because I didn't know what to get her. Went home about half 7 as S couldn't drink and we didn't want to leave the dog for a long time on his own. L ended up coming back with us. Watched x factor didn't really do much else. I felt sick so I was in bed talking to L for abit, S kept putting the tv on and was complaining. Was abit crap really. The stupid internet has also stopped working again for some reason am so not impressed with BT. Sunday I slept badly again so slept most of the day. S moaned cos he'd wanted to do "something" but its alright for him to go off and do repairs for people and leave me on my own all day but when I'm tired I can't stay in bed? It was a waste of a day really as I didn't mean to sleep for so long but there was no point moaning about it after wards....We went to McDonalds for tea and then watched home alone 2 as it was on tv. I wrote my xmas cards and we went to bed.

Slept better last night. The dog sleeps with us all the time now and its actually alot better as he's much calmer in the mornings and I feel less bad about leaving him on his own in the day. He is growing up to be loads better. He actually listens to us (at times) and doesn't bite as mcuh although he still needs to chew everything. If he bites we hold his mouth shut (not hard) as this is the one thing he doesn't like and he gives in then. He was so sweet this morning. He came and lay in between me & S and was licking our faces and cuddling up to us. We have been walking him round the docks which he really likes and it is definitely helping his hyperness. I actually feel like I miss him today and I want to see him and give him a cuddle. He seems to like me alot better since I was with him on my own. He never used to come to me and now he does. Last night he sat on my head while we were watching tv (of his own accord) He also doesn't cry as much when S leaves the room or when we leave him in the morning which is good. He is getting better at toilet training (touch wood) he goes and sits by the doors now when he wants to go out you just have to see him do it and react quickly but atleast he's trying to tell us. I think we just got him way too young and we weren't prepared for how hard it would be. I am glad we perservered because I look forward to going home and seeing him and it would be sad without him.

Not much other news really. I can't be bothered with work I'm so glad its the last week. Can't believe this time next week it will be xmas. I don't know where the years gone! Will try and update again before xmas. Hopefully the stupid internet will work so I can go on at home or I will not be impressed! Hmmmm. Jxx

Can't cope

I haven't written this week as I have been too angry/stressed to even contemplate writing something coherent however I feel I need to make a brief entry for my own benefit. I feel as though I cannot cope with anything at the moment. Work is absolutely crap the staff are doing my head in with their bitching and complaining, I'm sick of being left on my own, belittled, told off, having to deal with shitty customers. I am sick to the back teeth of xmas I do not want it, I feel nothing for it anymore except annoyance. I have not bought even half the presents I need to, I have not written a single card and they all have to be posted by Monday. I have no weekdays off before xmas I have tonight and the weekend and that is it to get everything sorted. We have no food for xmas dinner yet, we have no money for it either or money for petrol so we can go and see relatives. Xmas has just crept up and I don't want it at all. I'm starting to hate it and I never felt like this before it's so sad. I always used to love xmas and now every year that passes I have grown to dislike it more. I cannot cope. I am sitting here at work stressed beyond belief. S is no help whatsoever. No body knows what they want so how I am I suposed to buy people things? I hate being disorganized it's making me feel ill I keep getting these headaches that I can't get rid of. I feel panicking just sitting here unable to do what I need to be doing, so as a result I can't get anything done. I feel totally out of control and I hate it. I feel like I'm about to cry any second.

No idea what we are doing at the weekend. S has told this woman he will put her washing machine in for her (for a measly £20 whats even the point) so thats saturday wasted. We have to take a card/money round for Le as its her birthday so that will be the rest of the day gone. Last weekend we went to Pier on friday as planned with F&A. It was a really good night probably the best night I've had in there. F&A were stars dancing all night and seemed to really enjoy it. I was so pleased. We'd definitely go again with them. Sat S went to help D put a floor down for a friend of his mums and was gone all day. I was at home bored with Bailey all day. I took him for a walk and talked on the phone to L and my mum and that was it. Wasted day AGAIN. Sat night L&J came round which was ok not as good as it usually was for some reason. It seemed like L didn't really want to come and I wish they hadn't bothered in a way. If they didn't want to come they should have just said. M&G were away so they had a free house which I supose would have been much more exciting than sitting at ours. Sun S went back to help D again so I was at home on my own again. What a crap weekend. The only good part was pier and that S got the xmas tree on sunday and put it up and it looks stunning - really really good and sophisticated. But I still can't apreciate it as I'm panicking so much about xmas ;-(

S got some money for helping D but he's spent it on himself to get his drill for xmas. Feel abit used/unwanted again. It seems like S relies on me for everything, well all the boring stuff. He can't sort anything out himself its all left up to me. I need some help and support I really feel like curling up in a heap and crying at the moment I just can't deal with it all by myself. P only wants me when she wanted us to come to Godskitchen with them and that was so they didn't have to go on their own. L only wants to stay when he wants to but if he's got something better on then he doesn't. J swans about saying she never has any time off but then she fucks off every day on an "errand" that lasts 3 hours! It's alright for some! It just feels like no one is looking after me or helping me deal with all this crap. It would be nice to feel like someone cared about me for a change not about what I can do for them. Jxx

Home Alone ;-(

I'm home all alone, well apart from the dog ;-( as S is away with work doing this solar system. I'm really lonely this evening is going so slowly. P has just been round to try to use our internet cos there's is broken but she's gone now. Even Bailey is sleeping on the other sofa. I'm cold too and I dropped a stupid shovel on my foot before and its killing me. I just can't be bothered I want S and I want a cuddle ;-( I'm glad (for the first time) that the dog's here as he makes me feel slightly less alone. He will be sleeping with me tonight, I just hope he can be good. I need the snuggles. Love actually is just starting so I'm going to watch that. I feel like I might cry though. I wish S or my mum or E was here.

News: Well the weekend was good in parts and rubbish in parts. Fri night which was meant to be a nice relaxing night turned out to be rubbish. S and I argued, the dog played up, and by the time we went to bed S was too tired to talk to me let alone anything else. We argued some more and went to sleep. Sat morning S went on a stupid mission with D to get a TRV for his radiator and was gone for hours so I was stuck on my own bored. Spent all the rest of the day hanging about doing nothing ended up having a sleep even though we had had loads of sleep the night before and hadn't even got up early! Was a rubbish waste of a saturday but as we had no money or petrol to do anything we didn't have much choice. Then we set off for Liverpool at about 5 via Asda and L's to drop his present off as it was his birthday on sun. We got to Liverpool at quarter to 7 and met E outside her flats. S then went home and E and I went to wetherspoons. Had tea and walked back to E's flat where we had some drinks and watched the x factor result then went out again. We went to walkabout in concert square and then to E's favourite club Moods. Saw my old manager as he owns it so we got in free! Me and my contacts! Had a really good night dancing to loads of old tunes. Not very much dance tunes but E doesn't like it anyway so we just danced to pop/indie/cheese etc. Had a proper dance for the first time in ages, we didn't leave til half 2-late for me! Really enjoyed spending time with E one on one as we hardly get to do it these days. Only bad thing was we had to walk home in the freezing cold wind and rain as we couldn't get a taxi. Also E had to go to work at 11 o sunday so I only saw her for about 16 hours and some of them we were asleep! Definitely want to go again soon. I want my relationship with E to be better, more like it used to be. It is getting better but I still would like to see her more.

Sunday S picked me up and we went to his mums on the way home for a lovely sunday dinner with stuffing and rice pudding ;-) got their computer up and running for them then went home to bed as I was tired as I hadn't slept well at E's. Watched sunday tv and went to bed. That was the weekend! S went to L's for abit for his birthday and then to D&P's. Have felt like I've hardly seen him this week especially with him leaving at 7 this morning and me being away at the weekend ;-( He's going to have to go away again in a week to finish this stupid solar job so I'm going to be away from him again. We've only been apart for 4 nights since we got together and I miss him. Especially as it feels like even when we're together we don't say much to each other as we are tired or busy with the dog or trying to watch something. I really wanted to make the most of Friday and have an nice evening and it just went wrong ;-(

I wish I felt more Christmassy. I am watching this film and it is so nice ;-) I just want to feel happy and excited about christmas. I have ordered a few presents off the internet so atleast I've made a start and we are supposed to be going late night shopping tomorrow night if S doesn't get back too late. I hope once I've got everyones presents and cards etc I will feel less stressed. We're also going to get the tree I think and get that up....

No idea what we are doing this weekend. We are supposed to be going to pier on Friday with F&A but whether it actually happens I don't know! S is going to drive so neither of us are drinking so it should be a cheap night. I do really want to go as it'll be the only chance we get to go out before xmas but we shall see. Not sure what we are doing on sat. D&P are going to Birmingham so I thought maybe we could have L round but he might be going away in the caravan so I don't know there either. I just fancied having a few people round for a party or something. We will prob end up doing nothing though whenever we want to do something it never happens and when we aren't meant to be doing anthing we end up having people round!

Gong to go and watch the rest of this film now and snuggle the puppy. He is asleep on the other sofa and he is so so cute.....Jxx