Happy Halloween!!

Happy Halloween! Just sat here half watching 10 things I hate about you (what a film!) Not done much tonight as we had our halloween party on saturday. M, G and the kids came as well as D&P. Me, S, D&P dressed up as a cat, a devil, dracula and Morticia! It went ok although G ended up very drunk and L and Dl drank too much and argued with each other. It's nice to know I'm not the only person who turns grumpy when drunk! L was quite upset at one point about lots of things. I think the drinking just brought it all out (as it does with me) It made me sad to see him upset. I really love him to bits he is one of my closest friends these days. We are just on the same wave length-the little brother I never had ;-) The party was overall a good laugh as I never normally get to dress up or do anything silly. We had got food in and decorated the front room with pumpkins and candles. Everyone stayed til half 2 which was effectively half 3 as the clocks went back although we mainly just sat around listening to tunes and chatting, not exactly a wild party but nice none the less. CB turned up with 2 mates although they were only there half an hour as it clearly wasn't exciting enough for them (sarcasm). They were only invited by P and S as a back up in case M&G couldn't come so its not like it mattered anyway.

Friday we just went to D&P's and played games which was a really good laugh and just like the old days. We got taboo off M&D which we played and all really got into. D&P turned out to be pretty good although S wasn't so! We ended up playing it for ages as well as the game me & P invented. We had to keep taking it in turns to pop home and check on Bailey so in the end we all came back here. I went to bed at half 2 but the others stayed up til 4ish! S had to get up for work in the morning to do the roof so he got up at ten past 8 and went to work leaving me with the hyperactive puppy who does not know the meaning of the word lie in! L came round to pick some things up and to look at Bailey then I had to get up as M&E were coming down to be with me because I would have been on my own. As it turns out Dv didn't turn up at work so S came home again but it meant that he could keep an eye on Bailey while I spent time with M&E. We went into Lancaster to get S's halloween costume and had lunch in the Litten Tree which was very pleasant! Had a good chat about the wedding plans-its so nice to be able to be honnest finally and to have them involved ;-) M seems ok with everything and is even going to start telling relatives! So I had a pretty good day on sat although I was tired from Friday night. Sunday we didn't do much as I was even more tired, we had the house to clean and we went down to the Elms to pay our deposit to secure the wedding! Everything is booked now we just have to go back in Jan/Feb to discuss details, hopefully next time M&D come down we'll take them to see it as they said they would like to ;-) ;-)

Not much other news really Bailey is still a little monkey. He seems to get better and then get worse again. He has been going to bed ok but then this morning he was just going mental barking and crying even though he had been fed and been to the toilet. He just wants attention and to play but then he wants to chew us which hurts so we have to put him back then he cries again and so it goes round in circles. He is so sweet and placid when we take him out or when he's asleep but then when he wants to play he goes absolutely mental. I can't even tell if he really likes us or if he just puts up with us cos we are there/we feed him etc. I guess time will tell if he grows up ok or if he is going to be trouble! Everyone that sees him thinks he's so cute and he really is beautiful but he is so much hard work! Especially when we are tired in the mornings or if we want to go somewhere in the evenings. Hohumm. Sometimes I do love him and other times I can't cope with him at all.

Work is ok proper busy as usual. We are booking up over a week in advance now and it will only get worse. Still there's only 8 weeks left in work til xmas (scary!) but that means 2 weeks off which will be nice although of course it means we need money for presents and for going out (haha) etc. We will also be able to take Bailey out by then as he had his first injection yesterday and has another one in 4 weeks then a week later he can be walked! So we can get exercise and tire him out ;-) Just saw on the waether before that we should expect bad weather from now on...I guess winter in truly here. It's dark when I finish work as well now. Can't believe how fast this year has gone! Still things are so much better than they were this time last year. I am truly grateful. I just need reminding sometimes! Jxx

Bailey

Stressed out

It's been a while again.... but the main thing that has happened is that we got Bailey the puppy on Friday and he is turning out to be a lot harder to manage than I thought. I know I was proabably very naive with regards to what having a dog entails but I didn't think it would be this difficult. Basically he is too young (only 5 weeks) and so he has to be supervised constantly when we are at home. We have to watch him for signs he needs to be put outside to go to the toilet, he wants to bite us (only playfully but I find it frightening) He cries whenever he is left alone and he will not sleep at night. We had him in our bed for the first 2 nights which was ok but by the third night he was fidgeting and trying to bite my head/hair. We slept terribly and decided it proabably isn't good for him to be in our bed so last night he was in his basket by the bed. He slept for a bit at first then he was up and crying all night. S hates hearing him cry so he always goes to comfort him but we have to learn to ignore him so he gets over it. It is hard though. The biting is the worst thing for me. He only wants to play but when he shows his teeth and runs at me he scares me. And when he barks cos he doesn't do it very often ;-( I was crying this morning saying that we can't keep him but S really wants too and I don't really feel we can give him up. It is our fault because we got him so we need to get over it and train him etc right. I have been reading up on loads of info about training puppies and I've printed it all off so hopefully we can have a more positive start from now on. We have got a cage from M which we are going to ue even though the last time S put him in it he was in tears but all the info says we have to perservere and its actually better for them. It is impossible to leave a young puppy free in the house so we need to grit our teeth and do it.

He is absolutely gorgeous though and seems to be responding ok to us with the toilet training and stuff. He is beautiful when he is asleep ;-) He is affectionate and wants to be with us, coming up to us and wanting to sit on our knees etc. I just find him quite intimidating already and I need to get over this ;-( Its not his fault he is only a baby and doesn't understand. I have been thinking today that we will have to treat him like a a baby (I don't mean literally) but we chose to have him and yes he has changed our life but it is our responsibilty and we can't just give him away. You have to get up in the night with a baby so it is good practice. Babies cry and sometimes have to be allowed to settle themselves if we can't leave a dog how on earth will we manage with a baby? I think it has just been a big shock to us. But it has only been 4 days so I guess we haven't given it a proper chance.

Other news: Weekend was ok got Bailey Friday and stayed at home with him. Ended up having L&D to stay as M&G were going out and didn't want to leave them at home. That was a good evening actually considering we just stayed in. Sat I had my hair done and we went into Morecambe. F&A came round to see Bailey which was ok and we had a bit of a chat. Sat night I ended up going out with L and 3 of her friends into Lancaster. It was an ok night. Lancaster was rubbish but it was good to go out and L's friends are really nice. The music was rubbish though, we went to The Friary, Bentleys, Hustle, The Lounge & The Revolution. I wanted to go to Walkabout and Brooks! If I can't have dance then I at least want cheese! Oh well. S dropped me off and picked me up so I didn't spend too much thank goodness. Sun we had the skip so we finally got rid of all the rubbish from the back yard! Then we just sat at home with Bailey and watched tv. Was an ok weekend really. Supposed to be having a Halloween party on Sat. Have invited M&G, D&P etc Hope its ok. I'm crap at having parties and I'm not sure what we are going to do with Bailey. Plus we spent a fortune in Asda buying food and halloween stuff ;-( S is working all day Sat though so god knows how we are going to get things organized either.

Feeling pretty down about most stuff at the min for some reason. J&B are doing my head in. Always turning up and just letting themselves into our house, telling us what to do. I hate people turning up uninvited as it is let alone barging in and taking over my home. I feel more uncomfortable there than I did in Perth St. I've told S it can't go on. He needs to tell them. If they want to come round they need to ring first and see if its convienient. I am not letting them in if they turn up again ;-( I'm sick of the interrfereing. Ahhhh. My mum rang me today at dinner time and siad she might come and see me on Saturday which would cheer me up. I would like to see her cos I am feeling sad ;-( Jxx

Bogged down in crap

Feel proper weighed down this week with crap. I was off ill yesterday as I woke up in the night with stomach pains and was then sick in the early hours of the morning. Spent all day yesterday in bed with really bad stomacch/back pains being hot and cold etc. There's been a bug going round and S isn't feeling so well today so I think he's probably getting it. Feel abit better today now I've eaten as I didn't eat yesterday, but still not 100%.

There's loads of stress going on with work due to us going to court for various different reasons and through employees. Ad (who I have not liked for ages as he is such a trouble maker and stirer) keeps creating problems and I really hope he leaves but its so difficult to sack people and there's all this bad feeling and stuff at the moment. S moans because he is in the middle because he works with them all but at the end of the day they shouldn't be doing stuff thats wrong and bad mouthing J&D and thats where my loyalties lie no question so if I find out stuff then I will tell them. I certainly don't owe Ad anything. Work is also crap because it is so busy as it is winter and everything gets stressfull from here on.

Weekend news: Weekend was ok not great. Friday went for a meal for J's birthday to the Globe it was ok. Didn't get home until 9:30 then we went round to D&P's, S was in a mood and being grumpy so we went home about 12. He went to bed and I was stuck up for hours on my own which was crap. Sat my mum and dad came which was great. I always really enjoy it when they come down, its so nice to get on these days ;-) M & I went into Morecambe to get F's present and S&D did some work on the house (men together and all that!) We went out for tea to the Dukes of Rothesay again which was nice although very busy and then they dropped us at F's part in Lancaster. Oh and S finally asked them about the wedding (although only as he was leaping out of the car!) Which they were ok with as they already half knew about and obviously we have a joint mortgage and stuff so we are clearly committed/stuck with each other! I'm just glad he finally got it out and we can get on with things. It's such a relief that they were fine about it ;-) So we went to F's party which was ....ok. I guess. S drank too much and we argued (no surprise there) so that spoilt it abit. We knew a few people there so we had people to talk to, its just so random having a party like that and we couldn't afford to buy loads of drinks or anything. Also we were meant to be going into town afterwards but surprise surprise F&A wanted to go home at 12! Honestly we made all that effort to come down and buy her a decent present (which she didn't even open) and then instead of going into town as planned we were just suposed to go home at 12 still costing us £12 in a taxi! We ended up going to M's as they were up just for something to do which was nice but I was so fed up as I was looking forward to a night out. I knew that was going to happen and it just made me feel like we'd wasted a load of money and effort for nothing. Oh well.

No other news really except that-the puppy will be ready on Friday! So we are going to get him!!! I'm so excited and really looking forward to it. thats about the one good thing thats happened this week. I just hope that goes ok. We obviously still haven't been out so I would really like to go on a night out soon but haha god knows if that will ever happen. Jxx

At home

Only my second entry at home! I really thought I'd use the laptop more but to be honest I'm so sick of the computer by the time I finish work I don't want to look at it again. Although it is very useful to be able to go online whenever and wherever we need to. S certainly uses it more than me though and it is great because we can just put it away so it has been worthwhile. I'm just waiting for S to get home from work whlst eating some cheese and onion. Terrible I know, I absolutely love cheese and onion, or cheese and apple. Mmmmm. I've stopped buying cheese though after last week as I just eat it too much and as its winter now I've gone back to eating my microwave rice from Aldi as it is 39p per sachet and soooo low in calories cos yes I need to keep an eye on my weight (again).

Not so much news to report really. D put the kitchen floor down which looks great so we are getting there....Went to D&P's on Friday night for tea as we were all skint/had nothing in, and played some games and had a laugh. Then L&D phoned so I said they could come round (although I prob shouldn't have but I just thought it was something to do) so they came round. S was in a mood and way too drunk so it wasn't really a good evening as he was being stupid/mean. Saying stuff like he'd ordered a load of porn and being stupid and fighting wih D. We ended up walking to the 24 hour garage to get them some skins to make fags with but fortunately we met some lad they knew who gave them some as it is a bloody long walk and would have taken us forever as it took us an hour to walk as far as we did (and back) Then I went to bed as S had already gone and was ignoring me. Sat morning he took them home and we went into Lancaster so I could go to my contact appointment and we could get some of the millions of presents/cards we had to buy. He was alright by now and being his normal self so things were fine. Sat afternoon we did some stuff on the house and then watched tv. We couldn't do anything sat night as D&P had gone to A&J's and we had no petrol or money to go too. We also couldn't get hold of Ls or Sh so we ended up having a few drinks watching X factor and Rapture and then going to bed. Sun we worked on the house, I painted the stairs S did some bits and bobs and we watched tv and snuggled. That was it really!

We're so skint, we have no money for the skip as I spent what was left of it on saturday. S keeps telling me stuff we need to get to finish the house off and tools he needs etc and I'm like where do you expect me to magic this up from??? The car is using up £35 of petrol a week instead of every 2 wks like the old car and we can't afford it but we hardly go anywhere so I just don't understand it ;-( We have no money to even buy beer at the weekends. This weekend my mum and dad are coming and we have to talk to them about the wedding as it is getting ridiculous so I'm dreading that. We have F's party which we need money for. We are going out for a meal on Fri for J's birthday which will be nice although she is having to pay for us all which isn't fair. There is a hardcore night I really wanted to go to at Preston too but it's obviously too late to sort anything out and we just have NO money. The budget for the wedding seems to keep creeping up as I think of stuff I haven't already thought of ( hair, cars etc etc) We have to save for xmas presents/food/nights out etc. I just don't know what to do. We are STILL waiting for a cheque from British Gas for £70 which I need to pay J&D for some tools S got. We have been waiting since August and it is starting to take the piss now. I really need it. They got their payment from me straight away. I've phoned them and they tell me its being dealt with but....Ahhhhhh

We never used to be this badly off I don't know whats happened? We've been so careful.

On the plus side I really felt how much I love S this weekend. When he was being stupid/wrecked all I was thinking was how much I wanted him to be normal not that he was annoying me but that I was sad and wanted to be with him how we usually are. I didn't want to be sat downstairs with L&D , I just wanted him. Got to go and check on the tea now so no more depressing moans for now. Jxx

How can anyone not think these are gorgeous?!

Link to a website with loads of gorgeous pictures of staffys!

http://www.sbtfun.com

Autumn is here

The weathers got cold and grey now and it is definitely getting dark earlier so I guess autumn/winter is drawing in. In some ways I like winter-snuggling up with the heating on, having cups of tea and mince pies, xmas etc. In other ways I hate it-being dark all the time, cold feet, always more expensive than summer (don't know how...) I don't have any suitable clothes....Got my jumpers out from last year and they all seem to have shrunk in the washing machine so they are too short in the arms and ride up. Great. I really need some winter clothes/coat but we have no spare money and I mean none. We need £155 for a skip (!) which we haven't got, we have/will have spent £100 on birthday presents/cards this month and thats certainly not been because we've been buying expensive stuff.

Got no money to do anything at the weekend and I really wanted to do something. Had a productive weekend last weekend for a change. Went to Bentham on Friday and went to 2 pubs and had some drinks. It was an ok night L got abit too wrecked and was hugging me all the time, don't know why but it was just abit weird. I mean I love her to bits but it was like she almost fancied me and not in a friendly/sisterly way. That sounds big headed its just she kept going on about lesbians and porn and stuff and I am not into talking about sex or sex toys or whatever so I was trying to avoid the subject polietly it just made me feel abit uncomfortable. I know it was only cos she was really wrecked though. We managed not to spend much money as S wasn't really drinking and I only had 3 I think. We ended up staying but because we had said S was at work in the morning in case we decided not to stay we had to get up at 7:30 to leave! So we were up going to town at ten past eight becuase it was stupid to go home and then back again, so we ended up sitting in McDonalds for 40 minutes while S had some breakfast to kill some time then we got P's card and present and we were home by half 9! We spent the rest of the day doing little jobs on the house and actually got the front room nearly finished. It looks loads better and I'm really happy with it, I'm so easily pleased really! Sat night we went to D&P's as it was P's borthday on Mon and she was annoyed at D so we went round to play games and cheer her up abit. Sunday I was tired and the weather was crap so we stayed at home.

Monday we took a cake round for P as a surprise and thats been about it really! Going to Glasson Dock tonight for tea and to sort out some stuff for J&B. This week is going quite quickly for a change and I've not been too angry despite it being stressful because In has been off for 2 days. I also should have really bad PMT but its not appeared yet. Keep your fingers crossed then...Jxx